Naked Graveyard: The Ghosts of My Nudes

leaked nudes

Below is an excerpt from my most recent piece (“Living in Fear of My Own Personal Celebgate”) which has been published in the NSFW issue of Kernel Magazine. I encourage you to go read it.

“My nudes are out there somewhere: naked orphans of mine, moles and smudged eyeliner and half smile. The girl in those photos is wearing a red satin bra one size too small. She’s floating in cyberspace, between the pages of a dusty yearbook, or perhaps plastered on a bar’s bathroom wall, eyes blacked out with Sharpie. Some days I think of the photos and am filled with dread. They are exposed specters of a girl searching for beauty in her own bones, her body rising from the grave to sink her teeth into my throat, dragging me into a bottomless pit of ruined reputations.”
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3 thoughts on “Naked Graveyard: The Ghosts of My Nudes

  1. Very interesting follow http://www.authorchuksblog.com

    Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone.

  2. Robin Risk says:

    My dear girl, this piece moved me so much, I have tears. I can’t entirely identify the exact reason. I love you so much and I am so very very proud of you. I hate the “photographer” in Chicago though.  xoxoxoxo

  3. Ironic that that photographer in Chicago was trying to capture “natural beauty” and then complained that your breasts sagged.

    I’ve been thinking about this for a while: are girls socialized such that they go through a period of trying so hard to be what society expects of them that they’ll try out whatever is asked in the hopes they’ll get approval? Or is this kind of “trying out” something that all people go through when they’re growing up and trying to figure out who they are and how they fit in? Maybe both? I know I went through a period when young of trying so hard to conform to socially acceptable ideals — feminine, sexy, thin — all appearance-based, all in order to find someone who might (ironically enough) like me and want to spend time with me for who I am. So it seems like a lot of women I know go through this when they’re young, but I wonder if there is an equivalent for boys… and if so, how equivalent? How badly is their trust violated? How far-reaching are the potential consequences?

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